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| I was watching MCR's I'm not Okay (I promise) video a minute ago (for the millionth time) and at the beginning, Ray and Gerard are talking. Near the end of their conversation, Ray says, "You're never gonna make it!" And Gerard says, "I don't wanna make it. I just wanna.." And then the music starts.. Can someone tell me what Gerard wants to do? I'm so stupid.. | | |
| Last night was hell. Dianne (my mom which is what I prefer to call her now) and Doug went out bar hopping last night around 6pm and came back at 1am. They were both sopping drunk and overreacting about everything. Like, my dad caled htem while they were out about whether I needed a ride to the movie I was going to go to (but I couldn't get in touch with ana so yea). When they came home Doug was all "your dad-hic-- called about some movie. What the hell is that about? hic" And I said "Oh, I forgot. I couldn't get-" "What?! You KNEW about it?! WTF OMG" So I said, "Fine. Whatever. Get mad at me then. Fucking scream at me. I don't care!!" So I came back up stairs on here, and up he comes all "Oh my God, Jessie. Why do you hate your dad so much. I want to know the gossip!" And I wouldn't tell him and he kept nagging me and then Dianne came up stairs and she says "OH MY GOD DOUG WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" And then he's like "OK WHATEVER DIANNE" and stomps downstairs. Then Dianne comes over and is all "oh, I'm so sorry about him Jessie. boo hoo" I just sat there untill she went back downstairs. While they're down there, I can hear them bickering. Then I hear the front dor open and close. An hour or so later, I'm like where the fuck are they? So I went out the front door to find them sitting on the bench in the 'yard' and my mom is soaking wet. I said "where the fuck were yall?? its 2am yall need to go to bed." And apparrently Dianne felt like going swimming and jumped in. So when they argued with me about why they weren't coming in, I gave up and stomped upstairs and cried. Oh, so loud. And then they came in. I continued squalling. The ignored me and went to bed. It is now 1pm. Dianne just got up. She was supposed to take me to the mall today. To get school clothes. I am going to go into school Monday for registration wearing my only pair of jeans (the only pair of jeans I've had since the beginning of fucking last year) and an old tattered shirt. WHY CANT THEY THINK FOR ANYONE OTHER THAN THEMSELVES?! | | |
| Maybe the dingo ate your baby. | | |
| I think I'm going to be "sent away." I don't like my mom's boyfriend and I'm being a stubborn bitch about it. Last night, we were supposed to go to his house and have a "family discussion", even though we AREN'T a family, but I wouldn't go because I didn't want to talk to either of them. All it would have been was both of them saying "YOU HAVE TO LIKE HIM YOU HAVE TO HES NOT GOING AWAY!" and I didn't feel like it. I told her to leave me at home and that I would be fine because I wasn't going to go. So then she started getting aggressive and we started throwing things and hitting each other and screaming. Then finally she called him and told him that she couldn't get me to go, so he was all "Dianne physically drag her out. You're her mother you shouldn't have to do this blah blah blah" Then after them arguing, he finally says that I'm a problem child and that I need to "go away for a little while." Then she got mad at him and threw the phone and locked herself up in her room and screamed and cried. My brother was over there at the time so he went in there and talked to her. From what I heard, it sounded like she was considering actually doing it. But David told her that if she did send me away not only would I still hate him but I would hate her too for not being there for me. Which is so true. I don't want to go away. | | |
| I miss my cat. He ran away after becoming extremely annorexic. And my mom wouldn't take him to the goddamn vet. My mom's such a horrible person. She should not have cats. While I was in my room, she force fed onion to FishStick. She pisses me off.  Anyways. I'm such a cry baby. Yesterday I cried 4 times within the hours 2pm and 10pm. And I've cried twice since I've woken up, as if I ever went to sleep.  Whatever.. Listening to "Home" over and over again is starting to get depressing... | | |
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